February 2012
6 posts
1 tag
Do I know anyone who makes business cards? A graphic designer perhaps? Because here’s my new plan. I’m going to get business cards made that say, “I WILL WALK THAT TINY DOG™” and on the back they will just have my name and e-mail address. Then I will hand them out to people who have adorable puppies or just tiny regular old dogs. But only people who don’t have that...
January 2012
16 posts
Saw a bumper sticker on someone’s car that said I <3 My Mutt. On first glance I thought it said I <3 My Mute, and I thought, how nice. This guy really loves his mute kid.
“Do you think the penny sings Unchained Melody?”
– My dad, on Ghost the Musical
“If you’re in the 26th row how do you even see the penny?”
– My dad, on Ghost the Musical
“It may very well be true that another person is succeeding and you are not...”
– Elissa Bassist, “How to Write Like a Funny Woman” on The Rumpus (via sarahspy)
1 tag
you’re always colder when you have to pee, because your body is working on keeping the pee warm
At the coffee shop, we set out two tip jars, and asked “Would you rather have the power of invisibility” on one and “or flight” on the other. Flight got more tips than invisibility. I kept trying to convince people they were wrong for putting their money in there. Sure, flying would be cool, but think of all the things you could see if you were invisible! All the stuff you...
December 2011
17 posts
Hannahmight: notes on the video for The Counting... →
hannahmight:
- Don’t install a chalkboard wall because you saw it on Apartment Therapy if you’re just gonna end up doing that with it.
- This girl is wearing slacks. Slacks!
- This palette, ubiquitous in the late 90s, is my least favorite of all: washed out teal, pewter and black, hazy browns.
- I’d imagine…
“That’s what optimistic means, you know. It means stupid. An optimist is somebody...”
– Louis C.K. (via winnr)
i made a really important and well-constructed...
That thing where you both live in New York, but since you’re in LA at the same time you try to see each other purely for the sake of the coincidence.
advice
hannahmight:
When your twelve year-old cousin says “On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur,” he’s just quoting Step-Brothers, not asking your opinion, and shouting “triceratops!” will make you look like kind of an idiot.
<33333333
THAT THING WHERE
heymelissa:
YOU DELETE YOUR ENTIRE HISTORY BECAUSE PORN BUT THEN NEED TO TEXT YOUR POOR SLEEPING MOTHER FOR HER NETFLIX LOG-IN INFO
November 2011
21 posts
10 points if you name that tv character
My Facebook feed is full of people taking pictures...
mykicks:
I know what a plate of turkey looks like.
“Terrible. My son got hit by a car yesterday. He’s going to have to be in...”
– Woman in line at the bank today, after the teller said, “Hi how are you?” This is real, I did not make this up after watching too many episodes of Law & Order, I promise.
